I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing. In fact, I read through everything on your site, and it gives me a little insight into the cat lady who can write so forcefully. You experienced what Mr. Kerstein described as the “emergence of a kind of barbaric progressivism.” It was in full force by the time you arrived on the scene. It’s not just blacks who are gaming the system. It’s women, members of the LGBTQ community, and members of a host of other “traditionally marginalized groups.” They label us sexist, transphobic, xenophobic, nazi, or climate denier when we dare question their orthodoxy.
In this article, I felt your distress at how difficult the system had made it for you to seek relief from a truly frightening situation. When I was in high school in the early 70s, I read Tom Wolfe’s “Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers”. That was a very long time ago. (I am older than you.) It’s interesting that this type of behavior has been tolerated for at least the past 50+ years. On another note, I was happy to see you step up to question the beliefs of your friend in your conversations with her. At least you didn’t need to worry about a buck fitty, as they say, from her.
You and I had a far different work experience. I worked in the ruthlessly meritocratic field of electrical engineering. There was no faking it. No copying ideas off the Internet. Nobody cared about your race, what sex you identified as, or who you slept with. If you could do the job, you had the respect of your peers and managers. People who couldn’t do the job lost the job. I am sorry you were put through what you were put through, and wish you the best of luck! I’ll look forward to more in the future from Ermine’s Merma.
Thank you for reading -- and appreciating -- my Substack oeuvre. I'm intrigued by Tom Wolfe's "Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers," and will certainly read it. Looking back at 1970, when it was written (I was nine years old), I see the pivot from a relatively ordered society into a chaotic one which, strangely enough, I certainly noticed at that age, as "feminism" was all over the news -- and families started breaking up. I both instinctively rejected it, but then went ahead and lived it for reasons I'm still working to wrap my head around. I'm currently working on an essay called "Why I Voted for the Patriarchy."
Julius Horowitz' The Inhabitants covers how the government became "the patriarchy." There's a Hamlet-esque soliloquy to this effect at the end of the book. Why is he -- the social worker -- buying diapers and milk for families that HE is tasked with ensuring they remain fatherless?
The 'patriarchy' lens can be applied to the field of engineering -- any field that requires logic, evidence, merit -- and personal responsibility.
There was another essay in Wolfe's book called "Radical Chic" that foreshadows the wealthy elite's behavior during the heyday of the BLM movement. I am a third of the way through "The Inhabitants," but I know where it is headed. I watched it unfold IRL. Even as a very young man, I could see the destruction of the family being wrought by the welfare state. It made men irrelevant.
I turned nine in 1965, and my father was a TV junkie. We sat down for family dinner every night at 6:00 PM sharp, and the TV was always tuned to the Huntley Brinkley Report. I watched so much history unfold from my perch at the kitchen table: the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War and protests, the civil rights movement, the space race, the Women’s Right movement, and, of course, politics, politics, politics.
I would need more clarification to understand how a patriarchal lens can be applied to modern engineering. Electrical engineering is certainly a male-dominated field, but I don’t think it’s due to the repression of women. In the same vein, of the hundreds of engineers I worked with in my career, I can count on two fingers how many were black. I put most of the blame for that on public schools, with a good dose of what I am reading in The Inhabitants.
I hope your Christmas was joyful, and I thank you for the book recommendation!
Well, a side note -- I don't consider patriarchy "repression of women." In essence, since the social engineering is wreaking havoc on marriage and children (it seemed that only the top rats made it through that maze in the 80s/90s) one could argue that the matriarchy we're currently in, is repressing women. We're biologically wired to produce children, which has become increasingly difficult in a matriarchy. The patriarchy actually supported it. Yes, there were bad actors, but on the whole, it ritualized family formation.
Since you're older than I am, you may have missed just how challenging it got to settle down after second wave feminism, starter marriage, no fault divorce, abort until you're ready and so on became the dominant social behavior. By the time I graduated high school in 1979, what one was dating for became an absolute crap shoot, whereas in my mother's era, it led to marriage, and if marriage didn't seem viable, one moved on. In my era, it was living together at the drop of a hat, then moving out and moving on, until your reproductive window was endangered. I recall so many beautiful women in their late 20s wandering around really angry because we were supposed to be thrilled with this "new" "free' way of life that was actually making us miserable. Note that therapy ramped up at this time.
To define the patriarchal lens, it's merit, accountability, responsibility, family formation, strong leadership, hierarchy, defined roles, evidence-based decision making.
To define the matriarchal lens, it's do whatever makes you "happy" -- whatever that's supposed to mean; be your "authentic self" whatever that's supposed to mean; make decisions based on sex and gender, not merit, place feelings above logic....
So you're already a third of the way through "The Inhabitants" --! There's also a film made of Horowitz' novel, "Natural Enemies" which I highly recommend. So prescient, this guy.
Thank you for helping me understand your definition of a patriarchal lens. I’m not sure you can fit characteristics like merit, accountability, etc., neatly into either a patri- or matri- category. I don’t see these characteristics as either inherently male or female. My mother was strong, and very accomplished, yet she was a very traditional woman of her era. My wife of over 42 years is also strong and accomplished, yet she stayed home to raise the children and run our home for many years. My own marriage, like my parent’s, has been a partnership based on an equal footing and mutual respect. I wouldn’t have it any other way. A partner-ocracy.
You’ve alluded to being caught up in the new, free way of life, and have expressed some regret. I did go to college in the free-love era, but it was not yet a rampant hookup culture. I’m glad I missed it, as much as I might have enjoyed it, in much the same way as I am glad I did not have a smart phone in high school. My daughter graduated from high school in 2010, and while she did move in with a man after college, they eventually bought a house, got married, and had children. My son, on the other hand, graduated in 2007, is now 35, and is living with his third long-term girlfriend. They’ve talked of marriage for a long time, but I haven’t seen a ring yet. I know she very much wants children, and I worry for her, as I am not sure this relationship will last longer than any of his others, if history is my guide. We pray it does last, as we love her.
I’m half way through the book, and will check out the movie at some point. A package just arrived that contains an outdoor cat shelter that needs to be assembled. It’s gotten cold, and we’ve been feeding a feral kitty for the past several months that needs a warm, dry place to escape the elements. Before I take a break to get my chores done, I want to highlight one passage in the book that struck me as being relevant to the migrant crisis festering in NYC today:
“This great city didn't have enough of everything else. It had to have more people on relief than any other city in the world. So it announced in Puerto Rico and it announced in the South, come to New York City and live for nothing, and whole families came, more men came than live in the city of Poughkeepsie. The story was announced that you had to be in New York for only one day and you could get more money than you could ever get by working and you could pay rents that only a man could pay who owned ten whores. And now New York City, if I read my newspaper correctly, has two hundred thousand children and mothers on relief. Two hundred thousand women and children. One hundred and fifty thousand babies,”
Well that was a depressing book. The story ended in the middle, which just illustrates the problem is a continuing one. I think that as a society we are trying to become more egalitarian in terms of the roles that men and women play. But men and women are still different, and it is silly to pretend otherwise. I don't see the government becoming more patriarchal in that story as much as I see them replacing your father and mother. It's an important distinction. Even in a matriarchy, I don't think you just do whatever makes you happy or asks you to just be your authentic self. There is still a place for merit and placing logic above feelings. The government has become your father, but a father no better than Figueroa.
Thank you for writing this. My heart was in my throat, fearing for your safety. It took guts to do what you did, and I wish someone with a spine had backed you up. They probably wouldn’t be administrators if they had courage and integrity - or not for long. The crisis in the school system, in most of our institutions, is eloquently and terrifyingly encapsulated in your essay. I’ve had similar experiences, though not to the extent of yours. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Also, you handled the bullshit bullying/‘scolding’ beautifully.
Thank you for reading! I wonder how this made its way to you. One disheartening aspect of this whole thing is how so-called "liberal" white people seem to salivate over this happening to other white people. As if this harrowing incident in 1999 were all. I was accused of "racism" in 2022 for not exempting a student whose diagnostic essay was not passable by all objective metrics. HR did not vet this person's complaint, which was all appeals to emotion with no actual evidence of "racism." At an overworked, heady time in my own life, I had to endure a trial. At the end, HR told me to find evidence that I am not "racist." When I asked what evidence the student supplied, HR said: "She doesn't have to provide evidence. All that matters is the way you made her feel."
Some months ago, I relayed this anecdote to a white couple like those mentioned above. One of them said: YOU NEED TRAINING! With a huge self-satisfied grin on his face.
Never mind the blatant discrimination against me. And he's a lawyer.
Ugh, that’s horrible, but not surprising. Maybe it’s the whole - if I throw a sop to the face eating leopard, he won’t eat my face. Smug self satisfaction only lasts as long as you can keep offering up unprotected ‘appetizers’. Then again, smugness is the great blindfold.
Holy shit! A trial over such allegations is truly Kafkaesque (terrible literary pun intended). I’m so sorry.
I’ve had to create calculations (I’m an engineer) for recent DEI hires who didn’t understand what a ‘moment’ is or how it works. It’s pretty much like trying to write without knowing the alphabet. Many, many instances of absolute bullshit with no recourse except finding another job. We’re all on our own.
The one non-work experience that stands out, is talking to an acquaintance, a young woman. She told me about her ‘friend’ who threatened to put a cigarette out in her eye. I asked her if she called the police. With outrage, she all but yelled at me - “how could you think I’d be the type of person to call the cops on a young black man”. I know who the YBM is, he’s in his thirties and lived in a huge house with his parents, both of whom are doctors. The young woman believes she has unearned privilege - her parents spent their lives in the armed services and grew up in profound Appalachian poverty.
I grew up in the Soviet Union. If we don’t course correct, like yesterday, we’ve seen how it all ends.
You know, when I hear stuff like this, it really makes me think about growing up around tough environments like Chicago. It’s not that all Black people are like this—far from it—but there’s definitely a pattern when kids grow up without guidance or structure. They get lost, and some turn into straight-up psychopaths. It’s wild. And it’s insane how some people will use the race card as a shield for all kinds of bad behavior. That’s not normal. It’s not how most people think, but society sometimes lets it slide because of this weird white guilt thing. It’s disgusting. And I gotta say, props to you for having the guts to tell this story. I’m sure you’ve faced all kinds of backlash, with people throwing the “white supremacy” label around, but this is just real talk. It needs to be said.
Thanks for reading. To the "white supremacy" note, what makes it even more concerning (if not infuriating, let's be honest) is that it's hurled around by sadistic white people who seem to get off on seeing other white people get labeled "racist." This traumatic event in my life is conveniently, for them, somehow my "fault." It's such an abusive, counterproductive interpretation, because it just perpetuates the abuse, and it certainly doesn't help the abusers in any way. And if I had a dime for every white person who whispered to me some racist experience like this -- some see it for what it is -- but too many seem to take responsibility for it....
Wow this is even worse than what I've seen/experienced as a teacher. Though I've had female colleagues who've experienced stuff like this, male students threatening to kill them, following them home, all kinds of shit based on the reality of strength disparity. In all these cases the aggressive assholes were white males. But of course it adds an extra layer if the asshole is black.
Thanks for reading. Absolutely, if the jerk is black, it's much more harrowing. The "Central Park Karen" incident back in 2020, for example. While she may have overreacted by calling the police, he DID say "You're not going to like what I'm going to do." There's a dangerous undercurrent that has racialized who you can call the police on, or report to a supervisor. This gives bad actors free reign.
It never occurred to you even once to stand up for the truth, did you? If everyone just did that, the forces of chaos of criminality would not be in charge now. It's still not too late to start doing that though.
In essence, I did stand up for the truth. I reported his harassment to administrators who apparently sided with abusing the “oppressors.” I didn’t give him the grade he demanded.
People just don't seem to understand that the moral majority is the silent majority who must not remain silent any more. There are still more people who do agree with Truth, Logic and Morality than the vocal minority who believe believe in lies and nonsense. All we have to do is say what it is necessary to say in order to do what it is necessary to be done.
She did stand up for truth. Not right away because she was inexperienced and also being subject to repeated physical threat by someone bigger than herself, with no support. This is normal, especially if you are initially caught off guard. Finally she did "start doing that," but under the circumstances I don't think its fair to criticize her even if she didn't. Sometimes fear wins out in our animal bodies, that makes us human.
I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing. In fact, I read through everything on your site, and it gives me a little insight into the cat lady who can write so forcefully. You experienced what Mr. Kerstein described as the “emergence of a kind of barbaric progressivism.” It was in full force by the time you arrived on the scene. It’s not just blacks who are gaming the system. It’s women, members of the LGBTQ community, and members of a host of other “traditionally marginalized groups.” They label us sexist, transphobic, xenophobic, nazi, or climate denier when we dare question their orthodoxy.
In this article, I felt your distress at how difficult the system had made it for you to seek relief from a truly frightening situation. When I was in high school in the early 70s, I read Tom Wolfe’s “Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers”. That was a very long time ago. (I am older than you.) It’s interesting that this type of behavior has been tolerated for at least the past 50+ years. On another note, I was happy to see you step up to question the beliefs of your friend in your conversations with her. At least you didn’t need to worry about a buck fitty, as they say, from her.
You and I had a far different work experience. I worked in the ruthlessly meritocratic field of electrical engineering. There was no faking it. No copying ideas off the Internet. Nobody cared about your race, what sex you identified as, or who you slept with. If you could do the job, you had the respect of your peers and managers. People who couldn’t do the job lost the job. I am sorry you were put through what you were put through, and wish you the best of luck! I’ll look forward to more in the future from Ermine’s Merma.
Thank you for reading -- and appreciating -- my Substack oeuvre. I'm intrigued by Tom Wolfe's "Mau-Mauing the Flak Catchers," and will certainly read it. Looking back at 1970, when it was written (I was nine years old), I see the pivot from a relatively ordered society into a chaotic one which, strangely enough, I certainly noticed at that age, as "feminism" was all over the news -- and families started breaking up. I both instinctively rejected it, but then went ahead and lived it for reasons I'm still working to wrap my head around. I'm currently working on an essay called "Why I Voted for the Patriarchy."
Julius Horowitz' The Inhabitants covers how the government became "the patriarchy." There's a Hamlet-esque soliloquy to this effect at the end of the book. Why is he -- the social worker -- buying diapers and milk for families that HE is tasked with ensuring they remain fatherless?
The 'patriarchy' lens can be applied to the field of engineering -- any field that requires logic, evidence, merit -- and personal responsibility.
Merry Christmas!
There was another essay in Wolfe's book called "Radical Chic" that foreshadows the wealthy elite's behavior during the heyday of the BLM movement. I am a third of the way through "The Inhabitants," but I know where it is headed. I watched it unfold IRL. Even as a very young man, I could see the destruction of the family being wrought by the welfare state. It made men irrelevant.
I turned nine in 1965, and my father was a TV junkie. We sat down for family dinner every night at 6:00 PM sharp, and the TV was always tuned to the Huntley Brinkley Report. I watched so much history unfold from my perch at the kitchen table: the Kennedy assassination, the Vietnam War and protests, the civil rights movement, the space race, the Women’s Right movement, and, of course, politics, politics, politics.
I would need more clarification to understand how a patriarchal lens can be applied to modern engineering. Electrical engineering is certainly a male-dominated field, but I don’t think it’s due to the repression of women. In the same vein, of the hundreds of engineers I worked with in my career, I can count on two fingers how many were black. I put most of the blame for that on public schools, with a good dose of what I am reading in The Inhabitants.
I hope your Christmas was joyful, and I thank you for the book recommendation!
Well, a side note -- I don't consider patriarchy "repression of women." In essence, since the social engineering is wreaking havoc on marriage and children (it seemed that only the top rats made it through that maze in the 80s/90s) one could argue that the matriarchy we're currently in, is repressing women. We're biologically wired to produce children, which has become increasingly difficult in a matriarchy. The patriarchy actually supported it. Yes, there were bad actors, but on the whole, it ritualized family formation.
Since you're older than I am, you may have missed just how challenging it got to settle down after second wave feminism, starter marriage, no fault divorce, abort until you're ready and so on became the dominant social behavior. By the time I graduated high school in 1979, what one was dating for became an absolute crap shoot, whereas in my mother's era, it led to marriage, and if marriage didn't seem viable, one moved on. In my era, it was living together at the drop of a hat, then moving out and moving on, until your reproductive window was endangered. I recall so many beautiful women in their late 20s wandering around really angry because we were supposed to be thrilled with this "new" "free' way of life that was actually making us miserable. Note that therapy ramped up at this time.
To define the patriarchal lens, it's merit, accountability, responsibility, family formation, strong leadership, hierarchy, defined roles, evidence-based decision making.
To define the matriarchal lens, it's do whatever makes you "happy" -- whatever that's supposed to mean; be your "authentic self" whatever that's supposed to mean; make decisions based on sex and gender, not merit, place feelings above logic....
So you're already a third of the way through "The Inhabitants" --! There's also a film made of Horowitz' novel, "Natural Enemies" which I highly recommend. So prescient, this guy.
Thank you for helping me understand your definition of a patriarchal lens. I’m not sure you can fit characteristics like merit, accountability, etc., neatly into either a patri- or matri- category. I don’t see these characteristics as either inherently male or female. My mother was strong, and very accomplished, yet she was a very traditional woman of her era. My wife of over 42 years is also strong and accomplished, yet she stayed home to raise the children and run our home for many years. My own marriage, like my parent’s, has been a partnership based on an equal footing and mutual respect. I wouldn’t have it any other way. A partner-ocracy.
You’ve alluded to being caught up in the new, free way of life, and have expressed some regret. I did go to college in the free-love era, but it was not yet a rampant hookup culture. I’m glad I missed it, as much as I might have enjoyed it, in much the same way as I am glad I did not have a smart phone in high school. My daughter graduated from high school in 2010, and while she did move in with a man after college, they eventually bought a house, got married, and had children. My son, on the other hand, graduated in 2007, is now 35, and is living with his third long-term girlfriend. They’ve talked of marriage for a long time, but I haven’t seen a ring yet. I know she very much wants children, and I worry for her, as I am not sure this relationship will last longer than any of his others, if history is my guide. We pray it does last, as we love her.
I’m half way through the book, and will check out the movie at some point. A package just arrived that contains an outdoor cat shelter that needs to be assembled. It’s gotten cold, and we’ve been feeding a feral kitty for the past several months that needs a warm, dry place to escape the elements. Before I take a break to get my chores done, I want to highlight one passage in the book that struck me as being relevant to the migrant crisis festering in NYC today:
“This great city didn't have enough of everything else. It had to have more people on relief than any other city in the world. So it announced in Puerto Rico and it announced in the South, come to New York City and live for nothing, and whole families came, more men came than live in the city of Poughkeepsie. The story was announced that you had to be in New York for only one day and you could get more money than you could ever get by working and you could pay rents that only a man could pay who owned ten whores. And now New York City, if I read my newspaper correctly, has two hundred thousand children and mothers on relief. Two hundred thousand women and children. One hundred and fifty thousand babies,”
Well that was a depressing book. The story ended in the middle, which just illustrates the problem is a continuing one. I think that as a society we are trying to become more egalitarian in terms of the roles that men and women play. But men and women are still different, and it is silly to pretend otherwise. I don't see the government becoming more patriarchal in that story as much as I see them replacing your father and mother. It's an important distinction. Even in a matriarchy, I don't think you just do whatever makes you happy or asks you to just be your authentic self. There is still a place for merit and placing logic above feelings. The government has become your father, but a father no better than Figueroa.
Thank you for writing this. My heart was in my throat, fearing for your safety. It took guts to do what you did, and I wish someone with a spine had backed you up. They probably wouldn’t be administrators if they had courage and integrity - or not for long. The crisis in the school system, in most of our institutions, is eloquently and terrifyingly encapsulated in your essay. I’ve had similar experiences, though not to the extent of yours. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Also, you handled the bullshit bullying/‘scolding’ beautifully.
Thank you for reading! I wonder how this made its way to you. One disheartening aspect of this whole thing is how so-called "liberal" white people seem to salivate over this happening to other white people. As if this harrowing incident in 1999 were all. I was accused of "racism" in 2022 for not exempting a student whose diagnostic essay was not passable by all objective metrics. HR did not vet this person's complaint, which was all appeals to emotion with no actual evidence of "racism." At an overworked, heady time in my own life, I had to endure a trial. At the end, HR told me to find evidence that I am not "racist." When I asked what evidence the student supplied, HR said: "She doesn't have to provide evidence. All that matters is the way you made her feel."
Some months ago, I relayed this anecdote to a white couple like those mentioned above. One of them said: YOU NEED TRAINING! With a huge self-satisfied grin on his face.
Never mind the blatant discrimination against me. And he's a lawyer.
Ugh, that’s horrible, but not surprising. Maybe it’s the whole - if I throw a sop to the face eating leopard, he won’t eat my face. Smug self satisfaction only lasts as long as you can keep offering up unprotected ‘appetizers’. Then again, smugness is the great blindfold.
Holy shit! A trial over such allegations is truly Kafkaesque (terrible literary pun intended). I’m so sorry.
I’ve had to create calculations (I’m an engineer) for recent DEI hires who didn’t understand what a ‘moment’ is or how it works. It’s pretty much like trying to write without knowing the alphabet. Many, many instances of absolute bullshit with no recourse except finding another job. We’re all on our own.
The one non-work experience that stands out, is talking to an acquaintance, a young woman. She told me about her ‘friend’ who threatened to put a cigarette out in her eye. I asked her if she called the police. With outrage, she all but yelled at me - “how could you think I’d be the type of person to call the cops on a young black man”. I know who the YBM is, he’s in his thirties and lived in a huge house with his parents, both of whom are doctors. The young woman believes she has unearned privilege - her parents spent their lives in the armed services and grew up in profound Appalachian poverty.
I grew up in the Soviet Union. If we don’t course correct, like yesterday, we’ve seen how it all ends.
Oh, how I found you - I saw your comment on ‘Jottings in Purple’ and it really resonated.
You know, when I hear stuff like this, it really makes me think about growing up around tough environments like Chicago. It’s not that all Black people are like this—far from it—but there’s definitely a pattern when kids grow up without guidance or structure. They get lost, and some turn into straight-up psychopaths. It’s wild. And it’s insane how some people will use the race card as a shield for all kinds of bad behavior. That’s not normal. It’s not how most people think, but society sometimes lets it slide because of this weird white guilt thing. It’s disgusting. And I gotta say, props to you for having the guts to tell this story. I’m sure you’ve faced all kinds of backlash, with people throwing the “white supremacy” label around, but this is just real talk. It needs to be said.
Thanks for reading. To the "white supremacy" note, what makes it even more concerning (if not infuriating, let's be honest) is that it's hurled around by sadistic white people who seem to get off on seeing other white people get labeled "racist." This traumatic event in my life is conveniently, for them, somehow my "fault." It's such an abusive, counterproductive interpretation, because it just perpetuates the abuse, and it certainly doesn't help the abusers in any way. And if I had a dime for every white person who whispered to me some racist experience like this -- some see it for what it is -- but too many seem to take responsibility for it....
Enough is enough!
Wow this is even worse than what I've seen/experienced as a teacher. Though I've had female colleagues who've experienced stuff like this, male students threatening to kill them, following them home, all kinds of shit based on the reality of strength disparity. In all these cases the aggressive assholes were white males. But of course it adds an extra layer if the asshole is black.
Thanks for reading. Absolutely, if the jerk is black, it's much more harrowing. The "Central Park Karen" incident back in 2020, for example. While she may have overreacted by calling the police, he DID say "You're not going to like what I'm going to do." There's a dangerous undercurrent that has racialized who you can call the police on, or report to a supervisor. This gives bad actors free reign.
It never occurred to you even once to stand up for the truth, did you? If everyone just did that, the forces of chaos of criminality would not be in charge now. It's still not too late to start doing that though.
In essence, I did stand up for the truth. I reported his harassment to administrators who apparently sided with abusing the “oppressors.” I didn’t give him the grade he demanded.
Thanks for reading.
People just don't seem to understand that the moral majority is the silent majority who must not remain silent any more. There are still more people who do agree with Truth, Logic and Morality than the vocal minority who believe believe in lies and nonsense. All we have to do is say what it is necessary to say in order to do what it is necessary to be done.
She did stand up for truth. Not right away because she was inexperienced and also being subject to repeated physical threat by someone bigger than herself, with no support. This is normal, especially if you are initially caught off guard. Finally she did "start doing that," but under the circumstances I don't think its fair to criticize her even if she didn't. Sometimes fear wins out in our animal bodies, that makes us human.